Blogger, podcaster, and speaker Stephanie Holbrook of Rough Girl Turned Redeemed, tells us about a mom fail, a church faux pas, and a great first date story! She is loving

• the book Made for This by Jennie Allen
• and The Dream Big Podcast with Bob Goff

Stephanie Holbrook, is a blogger, podcast host, and speaker known as Rough Girl Turned Redeemed. Sher shares real, raw, and relevant truths on faith, marriage, and motherhood.

• Check out Stephanie’s website, Rough Girl Turned Redeemed!
• Find Stephanie on Facebook and Instagram.
• Listen to Stephanie’s podcast episode RGTR-11: Faith Over Feelings with Desmicia Calhoun
• My blog article featuring the advice of parenting expert John Rosemond, How to Say “No” to Your Kids Without Losing Your Mind.

Reminders:

• Join Fancy Free’s private Facebook Group! It’s so much fun! The question of the week is “Has Your Child Done Something Funny or Memorable On Stage?”
• Click the Subscribe button so you don’t miss a single episode!
• Leave a rating and written review! I will be forever grateful!!!
• If you have your own not-so-fancy story to tell, email me at notfancy@fancyfreepodcast.com! Do it. It’ll be fun!
• The best way to help Fancy Free reach more listeners is to tell a friend about it. Share the laughter!
• Next week we feature Katy Epling.

Thanks so much for listening, have a great week, and remember NO ONE is as fancy as they look!

~Joanne

Stephanie Holbrook S2 E50 Transcript (product of AI and may contain errors)

Joanne Jarrett: [00:00:00] You are listening to the Fancy Free podcast where my girlfriends and I tell our most embarrassing, funny stories so that we all feel less alone in our imperfections. I’m Joanne Jarrett. And I’m your host. Thank you so much for being here today. I have with me a very fun guest. I just know as soon as you guys meet her, you’re definitely gonna want to follow her podcast.

My guest today is Stephanie Holbrook. She’s a blogger, podcast host and speaker known as Rough Girl Turned Redeemed. She shares real raw and relevant truth on faith, marriage, and motherhood. So, Stephanie, thank you so much for being here with me today.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:00:40] No problem. Thanks for having me.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:00:42] Oh, absolutely. Fill in the blanks. What did I miss about who you are and what you do?

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:00:48] Nothing really. I mean, that pretty much covers it. I’m just a rough girl, turned redeemed. I’m a wife, I’m a mom to four, speaker, writer, author, business owner with my husband and chauffeur, maid, you know, cook, all the stuff that includes being a wife and mother.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:01:02] Yes, I do all those things as well. I understand from your podcast that you have a menagerie of animals. Tell me about that.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:01:11] Oh, yeah, girl. Okay. If you gave me anything green, I’ll kill it. I will kill it will be black. By the end of the day. I can’t keep anything green, alive, which is sad because I’m a Southern girl.

Like you’re supposed to be able to, you know, plant gardens and do the whole fried green tomatoes and all that kind of jazz. But like you give me a sick child or a dying dog. And I mean, I will nurse them back to health. Like they will be running in the Olympics

Joanne Jarrett: [00:01:34] within a week. I love it.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:01:36] One, I have four kids and then after having postpartum depression after my, my last child, me and my husband decided, you know, uh, you know, suicidal thoughts is kind of scary.

So we’re gonna. We’re going to get a vasectomy and not have any more babies. So I just have been filling my, I guess, my cradle with, with animals. And so we have three pigs, three chickens. We started off with nine chickens, but something keeps eating them. I think we got a raccoon somewhere around here and where we live at.

It’s just a old back country road. So people love to throw their pets out that they no longer want. And so I just go and collect them.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:02:15] So tell me again, how many dogs do you have?

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:02:17] I have three. I have three and one of my, well, my only girl, she is pregnant and expecting. So we will have babies in March. I’m going to have some grandpa buggies.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:02:33] Tell me what state you live in.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:02:33] Alabama.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:02:37] Okay, awesome. Well, I was born in Norfolk, Virginia, and then I lived in chapel Hill, North Carolina and Florence, South Carolina, but we moved to Reno in 1980 when I was only. Seven years old. So I lost my accent, but so listeners, if I sound more and more Southern as this episode goes along, I don’t mean to it’s just that Stephanie’s taking me back to my roots.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:03:00] That’s right. We’ll go back, baby. It’s all right.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:03:04] Okay. Well, as you know, the point of this podcast is to share our embarrassing moments so we can all have a laugh together and feel a little less alone in our imperfection and our folly. So, what do you have for us today? What are some of your not so fancy moments?

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:03:20] Oh girl. Every day I’ve got one for every day. Where do you want to start? I guess we could start where my first not so fancy moment was I’m kind of a pygmy, but where I lack in stature, I take up in spirit. So when I was little, my mom used to always take us to Kmart. You know, the super K and in there, you know, the, at the only, and I’ll say always have like the models modeling the dresses, you know, in the pictures.

And I was walking by at one time and I was just admiring this beautiful woman with this beautiful dress. And my mama, you know, she’s like, well, what are you looking at baby? And I told her, I said, I’ll never be able to wear a dress like that. And I was five at this time. And she said, well, why not? And I said, because I’m a pygmy and then I’ll always be, and it’s true.

It is true. I am nothing but allow my driver’s license to say,

Joanne Jarrett: [00:04:20] I’m going to just fudge it a little bit. Well, I fudged on my weight on my driver’s license, but I was a gymnast growing up. So I always wanted to be petite. I would have been so envious of your pygmy stature. If I met you as a kid.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:04:33] Aw girl. No, cause I’m gonna tell you it fights start real quick in my house, especially when I’m cooking dinner and I can’t reach that top shelf.

Then I have to humble myself and say, all right, babe, I’m sorry for that. Can we agree? Just a spot up here.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:04:48] Oh, you have to butter him back up real quick so he can help you out

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:04:52] because if not, then I have to like, get a chair climb up on the chair, climb up on the counter. The kids are watching. They’re learning how to do these things.

You know, you don’t want to teach them that kind

Joanne Jarrett: [00:05:01] of stuff.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:05:02] I guess, cause I’m here in the South and we’re not like helicopter moms. We’re just kinda like, you know, feed our kid, mashed up peas and cornbread at three months old. And you know, like, not that there’s anything wrong with, if you are like a really good mom, I’m just a really good mom.

I guess I’m just not a really good mom. Like I’m not like I don’t fall in the crunchy mom category.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:05:25] You have four children.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:05:27] It’s just every day is survival mode here. Sometimes I feed them like birds chewed up and give it to them. But we, uh, we were at our church and here in the South, like summers are just spent swimming.

That’s what you do all summer long. You swam because it’s hot as H U double hockey sticks down here. And we had a church get together pool party thing. And my youngest who’s 10. Now she was like 18 months old at this point. Maybe two years old and she had her little, you know, how everybody puts the little floaties, the little inflatable floaties on their arms and.

You know, I’m like, I’m just kind of a rough, like, I’m just a rough girl. I mean, I’m just going to be honest. I’m just rough. And when we got to the party, you know, all the moms they’re like slathering the sunscreen. Somebody is gonna call CPS and they gonna come get my kids after this interview. But they were just like slathering, sunscreen all over their babies.

And I’m just like, yeah, cool. Like I never put sunscreen on my kids. I really should do better about that. And my skincare lady said that I really should, but anyways, I just stuck the little inflatable things on her arms and all the other moms, you know, they’re like tiptoeing down the steps into the pool with their babies.

And I’m just like, all right, girl, you got your inflatables. Alright. We got our floaties, pick her up now chunk her. And everybody’s like, I can’t believe you just jumped her in there. And I was like, Oh no, she’s fine. And it was like two seconds drug out to like two minutes. The floaties had come off of her and then will know, save the baby like, Oh, it was, it was a mom fail moment.

If I’ve ever had one, that was a mom fill my bed. She’s fine. She didn’t drown. She’s good. You know, I wonder sometimes I wonder sometimes, maybe she was under just a little too long sometimes, you know, she runs into walls, things like that, but she’s good. She’s great. She’s super smart.

And then,

Joanne Jarrett: [00:07:30] Oh my gosh.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:07:31] Another time, another mom they’ll edit, like I’m serious. I just wonder what God is doing when he was like, yeah, I’m going to, she’s going to be mad. She’s going to be one of my, my servants. Like, that’s my girl. And I’m like, Oh God, you pick the wrong one because I have no upbringing in charge.

But my first baby, mind you, I was 17 when I had my first baby. Can’t maybe why I was just like, yeah, maybe that’s why I was just like throwing her in the pool and stuff. Cause I, I mean, I was kind of clueless, but we had my second, I was, you know, I was 21. I had read all the books, you know, like I was like, we’re going to do this the right way, you know?

And I was breastfeeding survive. Oh yeah. She’s good. Love our game. That’s right. And I apologize to her all the time. I’m like, baby. You got to give me a break. This is the first time I’ve ever been a mama to 10 year old, like every year, any, any situation where we’re in, where it’s like, I’m just dropping the ball.

I’m like, babe, you got to forgive me. I’ve never done this before.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:08:35] I’m on the other end of the spectrum. Stephanie, I didn’t have my first baby till I was 31. It was so hard to wait. I practically died, but. I still say that to my daughter. I’m like, I’m sorry, honey. This is new territory for me. I do not mean to put you in the role of Guinea pig, but here we are.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:08:53] You’re just trying to learn how to grow up. I’m just trying to learn how to grow up too. I mean, we’re both in this growing up thing together, but with my second, she, like, I was breastfeeding. I was doing everything. Like I didn’t give her the peas and corn bread at two months old. Like, I mean, I was like, we were doing good.

By the book standard. But like I said, she was constipated. Like she was so constipated. I had taken her to the doctor. We had tried giving her the juice. We tried everything to get her to go. And I was like, I really don’t want to have to give her, you know, an anima, like I don’t want to have to do that. And because I was still dark and ass stayed up in the balcony.

With my aunt who who’s deaf and I interpret for her. And so while they were taking prayer requests, I was like, can we, can we please just pray for Nana? She’s really constipated. And I really don’t want to have to give her an enema. Like the whole chart is just looking at me like, Oh, okay. You really? And I mean, this is like a chart.

Like we were the youngest people, it was full of older people. Like. That’s not etiquette. You don’t talk about poop in charge. I’m like, like, God doesn’t know, we

Joanne Jarrett: [00:10:02] all poop. Right. He designed this don’t you think about it?

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:10:07] What kills me guys? That there’s some people they’re like, Oh, I don’t pray if I’m on the toilet or if I’m in the shower, I’m like, don’t, you know, God knows you’re naked.

Like he knows what you’re doing,

Joanne Jarrett: [00:10:16] but see you.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:10:18] That’s right. Don’t be a shame.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:10:21] You can’t hide from God in the bathroom.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:10:25] Eyes are everywhere. After I, you know, I did that little prayer class. The church was applying, you know, some older ladies kind of scoffed and huffed and

Joanne Jarrett: [00:10:34] clutch their pearls.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:10:35] And then after we got done praying, my girl blew it.

Uh, I mean, Uh, per back out turn clothes. I was so excited. Like I couldn’t even restrain myself. I’m like

miracle. And I was like, she’s no longer. And like, needless to say. We are no longer at that church. And then it wasn’t that wasn’t, you know, the thing that broke the camel’s back. But no, that church ain’t actually closed. We’re at another church now, which are like the sound

Joanne Jarrett: [00:11:21] like it was a good fit. If

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:11:24] not, I don’t think so either.

I think I was a little too rough around the edges for them.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:11:32] Oh my gosh. If okay, let me just tell you. If I was in that congregation, I would have stood up and applauded and it would be like, thank you, God, this baby poop. This is awesome. I mean, cause my, my second baby had the same problem and it’s super stressful.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:11:47] It

Joanne Jarrett: [00:11:48] sounded like it would be, but it’s, it’s like she’s in pain. I don’t know what to do. It’s awful.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:11:55] Awful. I mean, I know how bad I feel if I don’t get to poop. So, you know, and I can talk about it. I can tell my husband like, Oh my gosh. Like if I don’t go to the bathroom scene, you’re going to have to get remarried because I’m just, I’m done.

And then thanks for a baby. They can’t even explain that.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:12:14] Exactly.

Oh, my gosh, those stories are so priceless. Thank you. Oh my gosh. I love it. Oh, okay. You’re so funny. I want you to start keeping track. And I want to have you back on in a year because I just, I love the way you tell it. And I love the way you see the world. I feel like we are two peas in a pod that way.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:12:40] Yes. Oh gosh. I’m afraid. I’m afraid to say what’s going to happen in a year. What other like horrible. I know it’s gonna be

Joanne Jarrett: [00:12:49] if we’re actually paying it. Yeah. If we had, if we make a list, it might just, it might just kill us off. It’d be like, well, it’s really funny because. About four or five years ago, I started a prayer journal and I would write things in there as they would occur to me that I wanted to pray about.

And then I would go through it whenever I got the chance to sit down and be alone and pray. And I mean, I pray other times too, like all the time driving, whatever, blah, blah, blah. But I wanted to be really intentional about making sure I want to pray about certain things. And so I have a page for each of my kids and I, you know, I even, I pray for their husbands to be that are out there in the world somewhere and, you know, stuff like that.

And on the page where I wrote stuff I wanted to pray about for myself, I wrote that I wanted to be, I wanted more humility, not because I think I’m all bad or anything, but because I feel like, you know, God will use us. More, if he knows we’re not going to try to take credit for what he does.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:13:47] Absolutely.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:13:47] And I know myself, but I’m just this icky human. So I was praying for humility. And then. I kept getting humiliated and I was like, Oh, are mine. I don’t like this. Yeah. I actually didn’t stop praying for that. That is one of the desires of my heart is that I would be humble enough that God could do fabulous things for people through me.

And I would just step out of the way and say, look, it’s God, you know, So I, I do continue to pray that, but I get humiliated quite often. And I have no idea if this has God grease in me up for, for doing stuff for him, or if it’s just my life. I don’t know. One time we were traveling and I had a big old purse, this really cute pink purse with this print on it.

And it was giant and it was perfect for traveling cause I had my actual other purse in it and then a bunch of other crap snacks and this and that. Our plane tickets are whatever we were in Chicago, I believe on a layover. And I went to the restroom and then I came back to where my family was sitting with all of our baggage and I.

It was like, Oh no, I left my purse in the bathroom. I had exclaimed out loud. Oh my gosh, my purse. So there were, and the airport was really crowded. So are there all these people? And they’re like, Oh my gosh, run back there. Maybe you can find it. I had like this whole team of people helping me out, figure it out what to do and cheered me on.

And so I ran back to the bathroom and I look in the stall where I was. I figured it would be right there in the hook. And it wasn’t. Well, then the next thing I assumed was that somebody stole it. So I came running out, I found security and I was like,

help me look for the security guy was like, Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry. That’s so stressful. All right. And I’m like, I don’t even travel with that bad as my ID. Cell phone and all this stuff, and I’m just making this huge scene. And then I I’m just distraught and I don’t even know what to do. And I go back to where my family is sitting and my person is sitting right there.

I had just left it with my family and not taking it to the bathroom. And of course I have like 30 people

and I’m crying. I was crying and I’m like a full grown adult I’m crying. And that was one of the humbling moments. I was like, All right. God. Well, thank you for answering my prayer. Thanks a lot.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:16:02] Yeah, you didn’t have to do it with all these people, 30 people out of their day to help me look for something that wasn’t even lost.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:16:10] Yes, exactly. Oh Lord. It was so it was really, it was really embarrassing.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:16:14] I haven’t tell, you know, and it’s so funny, like you said, A year from now, where would we be? And I just like it automatically, what came to my mind? I was like, my kids are going to embarrass me, like, cause my kids, especially my son.

Okay. And I didn’t write this down, but it just came to me and I have to share it. My son. My second oldest daughter, she went to a, a prestige pre-K here in our small town in Alabama. Oh yeah. Girl, like, you know, with a fancy people like the lawyers and the doctors and, you know, they like, they send their kids there.

Not saying like all, you know, people are lawyers and doctors that they’re, you know, snobby and stuff like that, or anything like that. Not saying that these folks were, but you know, like their little boys were like the

Joanne Jarrett: [00:16:57] smart, fancy,

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:16:59] fancy, and I’m like not, and they’re little boys, you know, they’re, they’re wearing the smock stuff or in their sailor

Joanne Jarrett: [00:17:07] suits.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:17:08] Yes. Right. And honestly, my second daughter, she really does fit into that crowd. Well, because she’s quiet. And she’s reserved and she’s shy. She just meshes real well. Like she just kind of fits in. And so she had a little play. Me and my son, we go at this time, he was three everybody’s sitting there. Their little boys are in their little smock tailor suits and all this kind of stuff.

And my son is wearing blue jeans, tucked into his camouflage cowboy boots with his John Deere tee shirt and his John Deere hat thrown on his head, cocked to the side. So there’s nowhere to see it, but except for on the front road, because I was running late. And so we sit down and everybody’s got their little boys and their little, little girls everybody’s sitting quiet and prim and proper, and the lights diem.

And my son decided that this was the best time to karate chop me right in my throat and run out of the whole audience. Karate taught me, of course, that knocks the breath enemy and your reflex. I mean, You can’t help it. You gotta reflux. So I like pop is lit, like popping back, but really in my mind, I was thinking, I want to kick you out of your seat right now.

Like I want to kick the legs out of your seat.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:18:25] I will launch you into orbit,

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:18:28] like. My mother-in-law loves to say this to my husband. I brought you into this world. I’ll take you out. They wanted to say that

Joanne Jarrett: [00:18:39] that just reminds me of a story about my 14 year old daughter, when she was three, she was in her very first preschool music.

Performance and I, of course attended and I’m think I’m sitting there with my mom, maybe even my grandma, but she was still alive. And so the background is that we have this, we had this big bathtub in our house that had jets in our bedroom, which I had never actually used, but I started giving my kids baths in there because it was so fun.

We realized if we put a little bit of soap, And then we turn the jets on the bubbles would just go crazy. They go really high and the kids could put them on their heads. And it was so much fun. We were just kind of in a kick of doing this. So Bailey’s in this little play and they’re singing songs. And in between the songs, there’s like other little things happening well after every single song.

And this is my quiet, reserved sweet. Usually very public appropriate little girl between every song she yells to me in the audience. Mom, mom, can I have a bath tonight? Mom?

I was so mad cause I didn’t get it on film because I would film the songs and then I would stop the camera. First of all, it was so embarrassing because it was like these people think I don’t bathe my child. Secondly. I can’t believe I didn’t get that on film. She was so cute. She’d lean way forward. Say a real loud.

I literally sent out a preschool wide email. You guys I’m the mom whose daughter kept begging for a bath between each song. Please tell me someone got that on film,

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:20:10] but he did.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:20:14] I know. I just have to play it in my head.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:20:17] That’s right.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:20:18] Yeah. And you know, here’s the thing. We can be embarrassed. That’s a normal, natural.

Human response, but the faster you can turn it into humor, it just makes life so much more enjoyable, right?

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:20:29] Yes.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:20:30] I have learned over the years to not let that gap take so long between like, Oh, I want to crawl through the floor to, this is funny.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:20:38] Yes.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:20:45] What have you been loving lately that you think our listeners would love to?

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:20:48] Todd just started this book. I think I’m like day 20 into it and it’s a 40 day book, but made for this by Jeannie Allen. It digs and you know, my childhood wasn’t very, I guess you would say idealic and so it’s digging, but I mean, it’s just, it’s a good book it’s showing how God can use those pits to kind of.

More few into the purpose on this earth. Um, and then the other one is the dream big podcast by Bob golf. They just put the fire in me. Ooh, I’m pretty well known. Like just to be a jumper. If I feel like God has put something on my heart or somebody is like, Hey, you know, I kinda think I want to do this, you know, can you pray on this?

Yes, I do pray on it, but the same time, I’m like, let’s just do it. Let’s just do it. Like two things are gonna happen. Either one, you’re going to fall flat on your face and God’s going to pick you up or two, God’s gonna catch you. And he can’t hear you. But my thing is it’s like, you can’t win. Cause God’s got to put his hands on you.

You know what I’m saying? I like either way, it goes big man upstairs don’t touch me. So it’s, you know, it really does put a fire in you to just kinda take on the world.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:22:03] I’ve heard Bob Goff interviewed before, and I didn’t realize he had his own podcast. I really like him. And I can’t even remember exactly what the interview was about.

I think I want to say maybe Jen Hatmaker interviewed him. He was amazing, but I don’t, I’m not sure I don’t quote me on that. Awesome. Okay. Well, I will definitely link to both of those in the show notes so that everybody can check them out. Wonderful. And I’m going to do that too. I can’t wait. I love discovering new stuff that I love.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:22:27] I know me too.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:22:33] do you have a funny first date story

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:22:35] for us? Oh girl. Do I have one for y’all? All right. So my husband. The end boyfriend at the time. Right. So whenever I first met him the first time I ever laid eyes on him, so me and my girlfriend, okay. This was before this was BC. This was before Christ. Okay. Just so everybody, all the listeners know this was before Jesus came into my heart.

So the first time I ever saw my husband, he was a junior. In high school and me and my girlfriend, we would go around and crash school dances because all you had to do, if there’s any young people, listen to this, do not do this. This is bad. But all you had to do was just put on a fancy dress and wait about 30, 45 minutes to an hour.

And the teachers would leave from their post of taking tickets. And you could just slide right on in that bad boy. That’s a real crafty girl is we would, like, we found out the local schools, we’d go, we’d eat the food. We dance with all the cute guys and make some girls pissed off, you know? Cause we was dancing with the boyfriends and, and then wait, and then we leave.

And so we went in and we crashed my husband. See, I went to a public school and he went to a private Christian school. And so we crashed it and everything. And I saw him and I was like, Oh, he is

Joanne Jarrett: [00:23:59] so cute.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:24:00] And I was just thinking like, who is this that he is dancing with? Because she was not cute. And then I was like, no, I’m not gonna, I’m not going to go talk to him because he’s probably a senior.

And I got a chance because I was like, I think I was like a freshman anyways, fast forward. Then the next time I saw him, I was actually dating somebody else. And he had came to my then boyfriend. Going away party for the army. He was about to join basic training here in Alabama. What we do as young adults, we do a lot of underage drinking in a field, somewhere with a fan.

And so all the, all the trucks are like backed up to the bonfire and all the tailgates were full except for a seat right next to Donald, who is, who was not. Then my boyfriend who is now my husband. Judge me, I don’t care. And so I went and I sat by him and he liked scooted close to me. It was like, like, this is, you know, before Justin Bieber was known for the good hair, my husband had that good hair.

And so he did his little swoosh thing with his hair. Oh yeah. And tilted, his Tina was like, Hey, I’m duck. Cause that was his nickname was duck. And I was like, Bah and I hopped down, I ran off, you know, playing hard to get, but then again, I was dating somebody else, so, you know, gotta keep it, gotta keep it right.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:25:22] Oh yeah. I want you to know that I was dating someone else when I met my husband

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:25:26] too. Man. It’s like, you got a, just to say how it works. It’s just, it’s how it works. Happens. All that leading up to this. Sorry, the next time we met with, at our, we live in a small town, so there’s nothing to do, so we, people would go bowling.

And so we went to the bowling alley and he was in there.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:25:46] I have to stop you for just a second. It was as if on cue. You said to me, we live in a small town and there’s nothing to do. And I swear your rooster just cock-a-doodle-doo in the background. Did you hear that or do you not even notice it?

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:25:58] I don’t even notice it anymore.

Good

Joanne Jarrett: [00:26:04] listeners. I did not put that sound effect yet. You can’t make this stuff up. That was perfect. Oh my gosh. I love it.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:26:12] Raised her. I hate that roaster.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:26:15] Well, I love him.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:26:18] I mean, he’s a freaking psychopath. Like every time we go outside, we have to throw stuff at him, so he doesn’t come and attack us. But, um, so we get to the.

My kids are gonna be tough, but we were at the bullet alley and he is wearing this plaid flannel, I guess, whatever button up. Which is what all boys here in the South wear blue jeans work boots. He had his Carhartt cap turned around backwards. So his hair was poking out just perfect underneath it. Okay.

So let me, my husband, he Lowe’s when I share this story, but I mean, cause he, my husband is so type one, but this is what makes it even more funny is that he kind of. Regal’s underneath it. I come in and he, okay. In high school he was known as the biggest flirt and best smile. So basically I just, I tell him all the time I’m like you were, you were a slit that’s basically, I wouldn’t tell him.

You might need to put in at the beginning of this episode, that people don’t need to listen to this with their kids in the car. Uh, cause we don’t want, you know, little Janie saying the S word in church. So he had all the, you know, all the girls sitting around him and stuff like that. And I was like, I am not talking to this fool because I’m not that type of girl.

Like I, and I’ve, I’ve really honestly like I, I never went for the guys who all the girls liked. And that was key because I was not playing that game. Well, I ended up marrying that guy.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:27:47] Yeah.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:27:48] Right. No dice on you because I’m the crazy one. He walked over, you know, and he was like trying to flirt and talk to me and stuff.

And I was like, no dog is saying it’s ain’t about to happen. So I looked and he had his top two buttons unbuttoned and there was something sparkly on his tee shirt. Underneath his flannel button up. And I was like, what, what in the world? Why, why have you got glitter on your shirt? That’s it? Oh, button your shirt.

And so he unbuttoned it just a little bit more so I could see it. And he couldn’t find a white tee shirt. So he borrowed his cousin who was like his sister, her tee shirt. And it was her cheerlead and tee shirt. It had a cheerleader with a pompom. And it said life is a game. Cheerleading is serious. And I was like, Oh yes, this is the perfect opportunity to bring you down a couple of notches in your pride.

And so we made a, we, we bartered. If he could make a strike, he would get a kiss. If he couldn’t make the strike. And I mean, he’s a really good Butler. If he couldn’t make the strike, he had to take his flannel button up off and give it to me and wear that t-shirt for the remainder of the night. And so he was known like as a bat, you know, like, like nobody messes with me, you know, like, Oh, I’m the man.

And so needless to say, Oh boy, I didn’t get it strike. He lost his shirt. I gave him a little bit mercy. I did give him, I gave him, I gave him a little smoother. So in and out, worked out in the end,

Joanne Jarrett: [00:29:34] you made it worth it for him.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:29:36] I still pick at him about it.

That’s right. I didn’t know other girls won’t him after that. So it worked out that,

Joanne Jarrett: [00:29:46] Oh my gosh. I love that. That is great.

What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:29:57] the, as far as success and trying to accomplish things, career, that kind of stuff. The best advice I feel like I’ve gotten thus far was from my really good friend, Whitney Ballard. And she’s also a writer, but she said every day, do something towards your goal, whether it be sending out one email, writing an article, making a phone call like just every day, do at least one thing towards your goal.

And I feel like that’s really good sound advice. I mean within a year, she went from starting a blog and a Facebook page to over 30,000 followers. Wow. It’s not just a look thing and yes, she is a very good writer, but she doesn’t just rely on the fact that she’s a good writer. Like she. Grinds when it comes to putting her, her stuff out there and reaching out to different publications, she really has put the hard work behind her brand and her product.

So that was what I would have to share for that.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:31:01] I love that because it’s not intimidating. It’s like, you can just do one thing every day, if you ha, if you’re having a rough day and you’re busy, just do one little thing, but make sure you’re putting a one little step in front of the other each day. That is so good.

I love it.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:31:15] Yeah, just one bite. That’s how an ant eats a whole elephant, right? Just one bite at a time. Um, and then as far as parenting advice goes, my husband’s uncle who has raised two amazing children. And they’re now adults now and they are great parents. Great. You know, they’re godly people and they’re just, just decent human beings.

He said, let your yes. Be yes. And your no be no, if it’s a yesterday, it’s a yes. Tomorrow. If it’s a no today, it’s a no five minutes from now. Whenever they’ve asked you for the 25000th time, you know? Yes. Is yes, no is no. So consistency I guess is, is just what you could say that. And I wish I could say that.

I take that up. I wish I could say I do both of those. Like, I’m just like, yeah. That’s great advice. Do I always apply? No. Especially like when my kid is beating her head against the floor and I’m just like, you know what, if you want to eat a Popsicle for breakfast, that is fine. There’s juice in it. We’re going to, we’re going to go with it and say, we had some orange juice with our breakfast this morning.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:32:19] You gotta choose your battles. But it reminds me of an article that I wrote. I listened to a parenting expert. I can’t think of his name right now, but I’ll link to him in the show notes that gave this beautiful talk. And just one element was the five ways to say no to your child. That’ll, you know, my words keep you from losing your mind because, you know, I tend to overexplain.

So he, he said, What you can say to your kids is either, no, that’s not safe. No, you’re not old enough. No, that’s not consistent with our family values. No, we’re not going to spend our time that way, or no, we’re not going to spend our money that way. And those are five and it’s like, I’m a CA a category person.

And I just like to keep everything in a category in my head. So it just helped me so much to be able to say, I’m saying no, what if those five categories does it fit into? And when my kids heard one of those categories come out of my mouth, they’re like, she means no. We’re not even gonna, cause it helped me.

It just helped me. So anyway. Yeah. Yes, yes. Means yes and no means no. And that makes you have to think a lot harder before you give a yes or a no, because it’s like, this is going to stand. I need to stay consistent with this. So yes, I love it. Awesome.

Okay, please tell us where the listeners can find you so that they can get more Stephanie Holbrook.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:33:40] Oh, I don’t know if they’re going to want all that, but if they do, Megan vine may add www.roughgirlturnedredeem.com. I’m on Facebook. Rough girl turned redeemed by Stephanie Holbrook and well, my podcast, rough girl turned redeemed.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:33:57] So I will link to your podcast and your website and your Facebook page on the show notes. This has been so much fun. Thank you so much for being on the show. I can’t wait to have you back.

Stephanie Holbrook: [00:34:07] I loved it. Great times.

Joanne Jarrett: [00:34:15] thank you so much for listening to the fancy free podcast today. I just loved Stephanie Holbrook and I know you did too. Her humor and her accent and just her take on life. So delightful. Make sure that you check out the show notes for today’s episode@fancyfreepodcasts.com slash episode five zero so that you can get the links to the things that we discussed.

And I especially want to guide you to Stephanie’s podcast in light of what’s been happening in our country the last couple of weeks. Stephanie’s most recent episode is called ref girl turned redeemed, episode number 11, faith over feelings with Dyneesha Calhoun and Stephanie interviews, a girlfriend of hers who is an African American woman with a son who is three years old and a brother who is in law enforcement.

And you guys, it’s just a really. Wonderful honest conversation between the two of them on how different they’re lives in their worlds are right now and sort of a God centered way of viewing the whole thing. So I would really encourage you to listen to that episode and I’m going to link to it in the show notes as well.

Next week on the show, we have Katie at bleeding. She has some wonderful story is mostly about parenting. She’s just wonderful. If you would like more connection and laughter and sharing, join the fancy free Facebook group. The question of the week this week is have any of your kids ever done something funny and memorable on stage?

Now it’s time for a challenge. I challenge you to think of a, not so fancy moment that you’ve had recently, or watch your life for a Taiwan, a not so fancy moment unfolds, tuck it into your brain, looking at it through the filter of humor and as something that you can give someone as a gift in the future towards helping them feel less alone in their imperfection and towards connection through vulnerability and humor.

Have a wonderful week and remember, no one is as fancy as they look.