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JOANNE: You are listening to the Fancy Free podcast where my girlfriends and I tell our most
embarrassing, funny stories so that we all feel less alone in our imperfections. I’m Joanne Jarrett and I’m your host. Today I have with me one of my fellow Her View from Home writers, Amy Blair. Amy adores her main gig as a stay at home mom to a very wise 15 year old son and a super spunky two year old daughter. As an aspiring author, she loves to write and finds it very cathartic.
She loves to look for inspiration in everything and hopes to inspire others through her writing. When she’s not writing or parenting, you can find her planning her next fix of concert therapy since music is her lifeline. Amy has learned and experienced a lot about parenting, health, anxiety, depression, God, grief, relationships, struggling, and emotions. You can expect to find her writing to be lighthearted and humorous, but also heavy and emotional. No subject is off limits. And she often exposes a tremendous amount of vulnerability. On her blog, she hopes that sharing her struggles and experience can teach, inspire, entertain, and make others feel not alone. So, if you were listening closely to the mission statement that Amy has, it is very similar to my own. And so I already feel like Amy and I are kindred spirits. Amy, thank you so much for being with me today.
AMY: Thank you. I’m so excited to be here.
JOANNE: Fill in the blanks. What did I miss about who you are and what you do?
AMY: I think that really covers it. I’m a stay at home mom, and wife, and I’ve got my two kids.
And my two year old keeps me busy all day. Like, you know, a lot of people say they don’t know what stay at home moms do. I mean, you struggle through the day to get things done. You stay busy.
JOANNE: It’s like doing things in fits and starts all throughout the day with somebody trying to throw obstacles at you as you go.
JOANNE: So tell me a little bit about the history of your writing. When did you start loving writing and what inspired you to start your blog?
AMY: I’ve always kind of like jotted things down, whether it’s writing in a journal or making notes on my phone or computer or whatever. And I am like a deep thinker and I really actually struggle with words in person. Like I’m not quick witted.
JOANNE: I can totally relate to that.
AMY: I am an extreme introvert actually. And so I just had discovered though, whenever I would like sit down to write, more came out, it’s like the longer of a process I have to think about things like I have all of these detailed thoughts and I love to read. And I’m like an article junkie and I stumbled across her view from home. I thought it was one person having all these experiences and writing all these articles and,
JOANNE: Oh my gosh.
AMY: Yeah. I was like, Oh my gosh, I can relate to that. All of this. And then whenever I discovered that it was actually this website that is all these women are like collaborating and writing for, I was like, I have to do this. And then it was just kind of like, what if I get a blog, you know, and have my own platform and it just kind of went from there. So I’ve hit my one year mark. I love it. I’m excited to be on podcasts now. And so here we go. We’re going to see where it goes.
JOANNE: So tell me, are you planning to eventually write a book or do you like the short form?
Do you feel like that’s your forte or what’s your, what’s your future look like in writing?
AMY: I definitely have a book in me. I have lived a crazy life. I definitely have been writing on
writing a book. I’m just so intimidated by the whole process though. So, and it’s hard to find time, you know, like my two year old hates it whenever I sit at the computer.
So, you know, I’ve got bits and pieces that I write. I have, I want to say every day, but that’s not true. But there’s still a lot to learn about editing and publishing.
JOANNE: Well, she won’t be two forever. Eventually she’ll start school. My kids are 14 and 16 and even a few years ago when I started my blog, if they came home off the bus and walked in and I was sitting at my desk, they’re like, “Oh mom,” you know, even then, yeah. The other thing I can so relate to you on is I also am an extreme introvert.
I’m an outgoing introvert, so it’s always hard for people to wrap their heads around that. I definitely am drained by social interaction, even though I love it. And I think one of the reasons why I love blogging so much and podcasting so much is that there is such a sense of connection. But it is detached from actual face to face interaction, which is what is so draining for me. I want to be connected and I want to share all of these deep thoughts and experiences with others. And I want to hear what they have to say about it and think about it, but I can only do so much of that, especially since, I know that you’re going to relate, you have to save your interacting muscles for the loved ones who are actually in your home.
Cause there’s only so much of you to go around, you know?
AMY: Yes. That is exactly it. Like I love connecting. I just can’t always do it face to face.
JOANNE: Yeah. You can’t just be getting together with girlfriends every day or you’d be totally
spent. And it wouldn’t be the right thing for you to do with your family, but in order to feed your soul, you still want to have that aspect of life available to you. So I just love it. We’re so lucky we live in this time. Aren’t we?
AMY: Yes.
JOANNE: As, you know, the point of this podcast is sharing our not so fancy moments. So our listeners feel less alone in their imperfections and even encouraging women when they have an embarrassing moment to think about it in terms of how it could be a gift to someone else.
Because when something embarrassing happens, you can either hide from it and be ashamed or you can figure out a way to laugh at it. And once you figure out a way to laugh at it, then it’s a lot easier to share. And then you never know what kind gift that might be to the person you’re sharing it with.
AMY: That’s very true.
JOANNE: Even to the point where it might be a lifeline for someone. So thank you so much for
being willing to share your not so fancy moments. I know that they’re going to be a gift to some of our listeners. So what have you got for us today?
AMY: Well, a couple of years ago, probably a little more because I was pregnant and, you know, pregnancy brain is real.
I was at my favorite winery. I like to go to my favorite winery for my birthday, the past few years. Mostly because of the food, they have like the best food. So I wasn’t going there to drink, you know, I was pregnant, but
JOANNE: I’m like, that’s torture, why are you doing that? Oh, food, I get it.
AMY: I was there with my family, my mom, my sister, my husband, my son. And when we were done. We were out on the patio, and we get up and I just have my, I don’t know if it was tea or water or whatever. I just have my drink in my hand and I just walked out with it and nobody even said anything. Like my mom, nobody even noticed. I mean, we were like, to the car, and I’m like, I’m holding their glass.
JOANNE: And you’re like, well, how do I make this right without totally embarrassing myself?
AMY: Cause now I have to walk back over to our table, like sit it down and you know, like, the patio’s full of people, everybody’s going to see me do this. But, uh, it was funny. We were all laughing our butts off.
JOANNE: That’s great.
Trying to avoid eye contact with all the other guests, as you’re walking back to your table to set your glass down, oh my gosh.
AMY: yeah, right. Like maybe no one will notice.
JOANNE: Be cool, act natural.
AMY: And so at the same winery this past summer, it was my birthday and we’re going again. And you think I’d learned my lesson.
So our waiter he’s bringing our drinks to the table. And when he goes to hand me my diet Coke, uh, he spills it down my back. Like I’m wearing a dress and he just, he spills it like all the
way down my back just a trail from my neck to my butt.
I just like freeze, you know, because first of all, I’m wet, it’s cold, and I’m an introvert. I don’t want to draw attention to myself, you know? So I’m like, Oh my gosh, does he
Know he just did that? So I’m frozen and he kinda, he looks at me and he’s like “did that just get you?”
And I was like, yeah.
JOANNE: Understatement.
AMY: Yeah. So he grabs this towel out of his, whatever, I don’t know, apron or pocket.
And so he just starts wiping me down, like from my neck to my butt, like drying me. Everybody is staring. Hey, I didn’t do this to myself. Like this guy did it to me and I’m looking around and people are just like watching him. Wipe the back of me off, like, it’s almost like a movie you just want to be like, okay, thanks. Yeah. You know, like I’m good. I can handle it.
JOANNE: And then, and then to the, all the gawkers, look away, nothing to see here. Jeez, have some decorum, you know?
AMY: But they really were, like, I looked at like three different tables and they’re all just like staring at the whole scene.
JOANNE: If I was there and I was with my two kids, I know they probably would have been staring and I would have been like, “Hey. Stop staring at her, she’s already embarrassed,” and blah, blah, blah you know?
AMY: Exactly.
JOANNE: But not everybody is as sensitive as we are, obviously.
AMY: Yeah. I’m just sitting there thinking like this guy is, like, touching the top of my butt.
JOANNE: Yeah, totally. I am so glad it was a diet Coke and not a Coke, because a Coke would have been so sticky and awful. I would have been like, I have to go home right now. I’ll be right back.
AMY: It was embarrassing. And then I’ve got another embarrassing moment.
JOANNE: Lay it on me.
AMY: Me and my sister were shopping and we were walking out into the parking lot of the store and it’s like, something invisible just comes up and trips me in the middle of the parking lot.
JOANNE: Oh no.
AMY: I felt like Superman. I just felt like I propelled like forward into the parking lot.
JOANNE: Next thing you know, you’re flying through the air.
AMY: Yeah. My phone flies. It looks like I’ve skipped a rock through water or something. My
phone’s just like bouncing off the pavement all the way down the parking lot. And, when you’re older, falling is a big deal!
JOANNE: We don’t bounce like we used to.
AMY: Right. I had actually fallen and broke my elbow at a roller skating rink a few years back. So I’m just like, Oh my gosh, am I broken? Like, is something broken? And I’m looking at my hands and they’re like, they have like gravel embedded in them. And like, my knee is scraped up and my sister turns around and she goes, what are you doing?
JOANNE: I’m diving onto the parking lot. Cause I love doing that. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be done. What do you think I’m doing?
AMY: That’s just like her phrase for everything and I can’t believe it. She turns around and says to me, what are you doing? Like hey, I’m just doing a thing back here.
JOANNE: You’re like, “Help me!”
AMY: So she picks up my phone and then she comes to me and she lifts me. She’s like, okay, like, is anything broken? And I’m like, I don’t think so. You know, but it like, it shakes you up. It’s scary when you hit the pavement that hard.
JOANNE: The adrenaline pumping through your veins is a very foreign and awful feeling.
And you’ve probably got the breath knocked out of you and your knees and hands are hurting. And you’re probably going, “Did I break my phone? Please tell me I didn’t break my phone.”
AMY: Exactly. Yeah. It was like, Oh my gosh, I bet my phone is done. But surprisingly, it was fine. It made it through better than I did.
JOANNE: That’s good. At least you didn’t have to pay a bunch of money to get a new phone. Oh my gosh. So tell me what your sister’s nature is. Is she an introvert or not?
AMY: Uh, no, she’s not. She’s definitely not as introverted as me. She was embarrassed,
like embarrassed for me too. I think she was scared too.
JOANNE: I applaud her for helping you rather than just standing there and laughing at you because some sisters may have done that.
AMY: Yeah. Well, we got in the car and we, like, couldn’t breathe. We were laughing so hard.
JOANNE: Oh, my gosh. I’m so sorry. Those things happen to you, pregnancy brain one though. I mean, I can totally relate.
One time. I walked into the full-on wrong house when I was full term with my first daughter. My parents had just moved and I walked into their neighbor’s house and I was like, hello? Hello. And then I made eye contact with their housekeeper and I was like, I’m sorry, I’m in the wrong house. And I just ran out and slammed the door.
AMY: Oh wow.
JOANNE: So taking a glass out of a restaurant, I can relate to that. That’s hilarious. And then I
was a waitress at Sizzler for a long time when I was in high school and college. And one time I spilled a mountain Dew down the front of a lady and I was so sorry, and I felt so awful and therefore she felt so bad for me, but she didn’t have any cash to leave me a tip.
By the end of the meal, she left me a $10 personal check and this was in the nineties. I was like, Oh, that lady, how sweet is she?
AMY: super sweet.
JOANNE: Yeah, she was nice. It’s like, sometimes those things happen to the right people. And
sometimes they happen to the wrong people. I mean, you never want them to happen to ever, but.
I did not try to mop her up, but like, this was all down her boobs and down in her crotch. And I did not try to mop her up with the towel. I can’t even remember what I did. I probably went and got her clean towels from the back, but I wasn’t going to sit there and grope her my gosh.
Yeah.
JOANNE: Well, thank you so much for sharing notes.
What have you been loving lately that you think the listeners might love too?
AMY: I follow a guy named Anthony William. He calls himself the medical medium. He hears a spirit voice, and it all kind of sounds a little weird and creepy, but he can identify like, what is wrong with people? Like what is wrong with their health?
And he, he kind of shines the light on other things that doctors don’t usually check or recommend or whatever. And he believes that the way to heal your body from basically everything is through food. I have a couple of his books and he’s big into like celery juice and, you know, like stuff like that, which, you know, I don’t, I don’t do the diet a whole lot, but I am just super like intrigued with his, with his ideas and stuff.
JOANNE: Does he have a blog or an Instagram feed? Or is it mostly just the books or how do you, how did you find out about him?
AMY: Oh, that’s a good question. Um, I don’t know if I remember because it’s been like several years, but I, like, I feel kind of honored because I feel like I’m one of the first people to notice him. And then I was watching the Kardashians a couple of weeks ago and they had him on their show because Kim Kardashian has eczema.
JOANNE: You’re like, therefore I am famous.
AMY: And I’m like, Oh my gosh. Now the stars have discovered him. So like, he’s done some work with Gwenyth Paltrow and Kate Hudson. I can’t, I can’t remember how I came across him, but I think he’s onto something.
JOANNE: That’s awesome. So how, what’s the main way in which you consume his content?
AMY: Facebook and Instagram.
JOANNE: Yeah, I’ll link to all that, I’m so fascinated because I take a definite Western approach to medicine because that’s the way I was trained, but I’m super intrigued. Because I know that Western medicine is only part of the puzzle. I know this, but I can’t access the rest of the puzzle because I just don’t have enough space in my brain.
But I was talking to a gal, Brooke Astro. She has lupus and nothing was really working for her. And then she changed to a vegan diet and she’s so much better. Then she tells me a hilarious story about how she slipped in her kitchen and her pig stole her Twizzlers. And I’m like um… are Twizzlers vegan?
Anyway, when I was practicing medicine, when my patients came to me with some Eastern or alternative medical question, I would say, you know what? I am fully supportive of you pursuing that. I can’t evaluate it for you because I can only do the Western stuff. I don’t combine the other stuff into my practice. And frankly, I just can’t, I don’t have enough bandwidth to learn all that. But I’ve always been very fascinated. I’m definitely convinced that certain things like acupuncture, and, absolutely diet and definitely emotional stuff has so much more physical implication and we are giving it credit for.
AMY: it really does.
JOANNE: one of the problems, honestly, which is a very cynical and I’m not usually cynical, but I do think it’s true.
One of the problems. And one of the reasons why this stuff has not been researched as thoroughly as I wish it would be is because there’s no money in it. So the drug companies aren’t looking at, like, well, if you just drink celery juice, what can it do? You know what I mean? So the research is not being funded, it’s going to take some time. I don’t necessarily know about the whole spiritual voice thing. But I definitely know that this man is hitting
on some things that Western medicine is, maybe not ignoring on purpose, but definitely ignoring some.
So yeah. How fascinating. I definitely want to look into him too. Tell me a little bit about your Bible journaling.
AMY: That is something new. Like I have never been good at like memorizing scripture and stuff like that. I just don’t know the Bible very well. I got like a Barnes and noble gift card for Christmas. And so I bought a journaling Bible. You can make notes in the side margins and you can color it.
JOANNE: My 16 year old daughter asked for a journaling Bible for her 16th birthday, which is incredible. I’m like, you go, kid. And she follows this gal on Instagram @scribblinggrace, do you follow her?
AMY: Maybe, like I have been following, so many. It’s like, such a huge thing. It’s a huge thing. JOANNE: It’s like the scrapbooking for this, this decade for Christian women. Totally. It’s so neat. Yeah.
AMY: I ended up down a YouTube hole one night, just like all these different people talking about all their different Bible journaling supplies and all the things that you can get to Bible journal. Special highlighters and pens and stickers and stamps. I’m usually not one to get adult coloring books. I don’t really enjoy that, but I was like, if there was anything I was going to invest in and make it fun and pretty, this should be it.
JOANNE: Yes, I agree. Okay. I’m going to post a picture on the show notes of one of the pages that my daughter recently did.
If you guys are wondering what an example of some Bible journaling is, she did this. One page and it’s got these peonies on it and it’s so beautiful. And then she wrote the verse that she was focusing on in this calligraphy handwriting. And it’s just amazing. And I would love for you to take a picture of your favorite page two, and I’d love it to post that.
But it’s not just a creative outlet, you know, it’s a way for you to interact more deeply with the
scripture and to get excited about opening your Bible. I love it. That’s awesome.
AMY: Yes. I feel the same way. I’m like, okay. If there was anything I was going to be silly and girly with, this is it.
JOANNE: Tell me what your favorite makeup is, and then I also want to hear your take on Bernay Brown.
AMY: I used to love putting makeup on, I would do the contouring and like, it was fun. I loved it. And then now since I’ve had my daughter and I’m older and I never expected to be in my late thirties and have a toddler, the CC makeup line from Ulta is a lifesaver.
I don’t know what happens, but you just smear it on your face and everything goes away and like, that’s it. That’s all you need.
JOANNE: Like airbrushing.
AMY: It looks great with nothing else. It covers like all the sunspots and pores.
JOANNE: I’m going to link to that. I’m going to march my little fanny right down to Ulta.
Okay, talk to me about Bernay Brown.
AMY: I didn’t even really know about Bernay Brown until that Netflix special. I think I sat there with my mouth just open, like. This woman knows, you know?
JOANNE: She is so incredibly insightful.
AMY: She is. I mean, I was just sitting there watching just to watch. And I was like, I got to go get a pen and paper. And so I took notes on it and I would stop and pause and like write some stuff down. I’m like, she knows what she is talking about.
JOANNE: I’m a huge Bernay Brown fan because I’m kind of a analytical person and I love science and I love research and I love data, but I also love deep thinking and character study.
She is just so right up both of those alleys for me. I love it. And for listeners who don’t know about her, you guys, your life’s about to change. You’ve got to go look her up. She has books that people love. If you go on audible, you can find, just talks that she’s done and they’re so worth your time. She talks a lot about shame, and vulnerability and the difference between shame and guilt and how to kinda navigate life.
It’s just, it’s, it’s incredible. And I’m not a self help lover. Let me just put that out there right now. I’m like, I’ll help myself. You know, I’m not really someone who reads a lot of self help.
Bernay Brown is so amazing. I love her stuff.
AMY: I’ve actually just ordered my first book. I don’t know if it’s the first one, but I felt like it was the one that I needed to start with before any of her newer stuff. And it’s The Gifts of Imperfection and it says, let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are. That is me. I’m always like, man, I should be like this. I should be that. You know?
JOANNE: It’s not just, Oh, we can’t be perfect. So why try? The pursuit of perfection is toxic to us. It’s not just that it’s unattainable. It’s hurtful to us.
AMY: It totally messes with your self confidence.
JOANNE: Yes. You know, you look at other people and you think they’re practically perfect in every way like Mary Poppins, but no, they aren’t, you know, so that’s, that’s my mission is for all of us to show each other our underbellies so that we can completely lay down that expectation that anybody is anywhere near perfect. And why do you even have to be, because we’re valuable for, for who we are and what we’ve been created to do, perfection be damned.
AMY: Yes. Especially being an introvert, you know? Cause a lot of times I’m around a lot of extroverted people that are just the life of the party and I’m like, man, you know, like I should be more like that.
People should know more about me and it’s just like, no, you know, no, this is how I am, you know, like I need to figure out how to embrace that.
JOANNE: God made me the way I am. I remember when I was high school in a sociology class, we took a test and one of the parts was introvert versus extrovert. I think it was maybe the Myers Briggs.
And I remember that like in high school, it was like unacceptable to be an introvert. People just think you’re weird or avoidant or stuck up or whatever.
And this girl turns around in front of me and she goes, Aw. I don’t think you’re an introvert, like it’s some kind of disease or something. And back then, I hated that part of me. I hated it. I just wanted to mature so I could be outgoing. Well, that’s just not the way God made me. And it’s taken me a lot of years to embrace it.
So have you read Quiet by Susan Cain?
AMY: I have not.
JOANNE: That is a whole book about being introverted and it’s so fascinating. It would probably be a really good book for you to read. It’s like a sociological study
of our culture in the fact that the United States of America used to not be a culture that valued
extroversion over introversion. This is a very new thing in our society. If you think back to like the fifties and sixties, being serious and being dedicated and being reserved was something that was valued.
AMY: So I was born at the wrong time.
JOANNE: See, we were supposed to be in the fifties with our poodle skirts.
What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
AMY: I think this actually came from Rachel Hollis’s first book. I’m not sure. I mean, don’t quote me on that, but it’s something that I read. And it has stuck with me since then. And it is, ‘if you don’t, someone else will.’
It seems really simple, but whenever you apply that to, you know, something like blogging, you know, like this was in the back of my mind for awhile and you know, it’s like, if you’re not going to blog and write a book, somebody else will, and that’s going to sting. It took me awhile
to like, realize that.
JOANNE: Well, and the reason why a lot of people don’t start is because they can’t do it perfect. Oh, that’s such good advice.
JOANNE: What is one surprising thing about you that nobody would be able to tell just by looking?
AMY: I have a terrible tiktok obsession.
JOANNE: I thought you were gonna say a tick.
AMY: No, a tiktok obsession. Are you familiar with the app?
JOANNE: Yes, because I have teenage daughters.
AMY: Yes. Well, it can be like, absolutely filthy, the people on there and sometimes I’m just like,
why.
But I have lost hours in this app. Before you know it like two hours have passed. I don’t make the tiktoks. I just continuously scroll through the tiktoks. If it’s been four or five days, I’m like, Oh my God, I need to get on there.
JOANNE: What am I missing?
AMY: My brain just shuts down and I just love it. There are some really talented teenagers in the world. I mean there are some bad ones, but…
JOANNE: I’m going to get on tiktok now. I’m not going to make any tiktok videos, but I, I love that kind of stuff too.
AMY: It will literally eat your time.
JOANNE: I justify the time that I spend on that stuff as rejuvenation time and the older I get, the more okay I am with time that looks like it might be being wasted.
I am getting value from that. You know what I mean? And it doesn’t have to be understandable to anybody else. Obviously you don’t want to be pathological about it and let it suck all the life out of you or suck up all your time.
AMY: Right, like I end up doing this once everybody’s asleep at night and I’m like, okay, I can get on tiktok.
JOANNE: When you’re finally done, it’s a little reward.
AMY: Yeah.
JOANNE: And like, don’t do it all night and not get any sleep.
AMY: Oh, oops.
JOANNE: That’s advice that I can give, but I can’t follow it because if I’m reading a good book, I’m like, Oh, it’s 3:00 AM. How’d that happen?
JOANNE: Amy, it has been so much fun talking to you today.
AMY: I have had a blast.
JOANNE: Thank you so much for being on my show. Tell the listeners where they can find you, cause I know they’re going to want to get more Amy Blair
AMY: I have a website called Northfourthstreet.com. That’s where I do my blogging North fourth street has a Facebook page as well. And I’m on Instagram @amyblair2.0
JOANNE: Oh awesome. Okay. I will link to all of those so that you guys can find and follow Amy Blair.
Thank you again. This has just been a blast.
AMY: Thank you. Yes.
JOANNE: Thank you so much for listening to the fancy free podcast. Wasn’t Amy great? She was so much fun. Make sure to check the show notes for today’s episode at fancyfreepodcasts.com/episode56, and you can check out all of the links that Amy and I discussed today. Next week on the show, we have Sarah Req, who is an anesthesiologist who has a funny story about ending up as a patient in a pediatric ER, during a work mishap.
If you have a story to tell, email me at notfancy@fancyfreepodcast.com. And if you want more connection, laughter and sharing, join our Fancy Free Facebook group. The question of the week this week is what is your favorite phone app? Make sure you subscribe to this show so new episodes pop into your feed each week.
Have a great week. And remember: no one is as fancy as they look.
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