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Have you ever made a fool of yourself? Well, you are not alone!

Each week, join me, Joanne Jarrett, as my girlfriends and I tell funny, embarrassing, humbling stories on ourselves that will make you feel less alone in your imperfections.  Because NONE of us are as fancy as we look. By the end of each episode, you'll have had some great girl time, a good laugh, and will be feeling much better about your own embarrassing moments! 

Dec 16, 2019

Sandra Samoska tells us how she dealt with her dogs having a romantic interlude that went on too long. She is loving her T-shirt that says "Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come." She shares with a a crazy coincidence and the best advice she's ever been given. 

Find Sandra on her blog, Outnumbered by Sandra Samoska.

Follow Sandra on her Facebook page, Outnumbered by Sandra Samoska, Instagram @outnumberedbysandrasamoska, and Twitter @outnumbrd4kids.

Sandra Samoska on How to Deal with Dog RomanceSubscribe to the show so you don't miss a laugh!

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Transcript:

Joanne Jarrett: You are listening to the Fancy Free Podcast, where my girlfriends and I tell our most embarrassing, funny stories so that we all feel less alone in our imperfections. I'm Joanne Jarrett. And today I have with me a new friend that I met through a writer's group I'm a part of on Facebook. Her name is Sandra Samoska and Sandra is a writer, blogger, wife, mom of four, and a doer of all things. So she and I have a lot in common I think. She writes about faith and family and she teaches a women's Bible study and she spends most of her time caring for her little and not so little anymore people. Sandra, thank you so much for joining me on the show today.

Sandra Samoska: Oh, absolutely. Thank you for inviting me.

Joanne Jarrett: Yeah, so much fun. Well, fill in the blanks. What did I miss about who you are and what you do?

Sandra Samoska: I am a stay at home mom. I'm married. I have four children. I met my husband in junior high.

Joanne Jarrett: What? Oh.

Sandra Samoska: Is that insane, or what?

Joanne Jarrett: Yes.

Sandra Samoska: We went to high school together and started dating our senior year and then we ended up going to two different colleges but stuck with it, with one another and got married almost 16 years ago now. Before I had kids, I actually did have a life. I was in journalism. I did journalism for a little bit and then after I got married, we moved. I started working at a consulting company for the oil and gas industry, which that's kind of what you do in Houston is oil and gas. And then after I started having children, I decided to stay home with them and luckily I still have a position with that company as a consultant. So I still have my adult time where I can kind of use my brain for something other than kids' schedules. And then I got into writing for fun, not just for work and journalism. Back when my youngest was little, my husband finally said, "You love to write, you should do something." And I did.

Joanne Jarrett: As you know, the point of this podcast is to take someone who looks like they have it completely all together from the outside and show our listeners that nobody as this fancy as they look. So we can all feel a little less alone in our imperfections. What not so fancy story do you have for us today?

Sandra Samoska: I have a lot of not so fancy stories. It's kind of embarrassing, but there was one that I just, every time I think about it, it makes me laugh out loud and people actually bring it up to me sometimes when we're in casual conversation, which isn't awkward at all. So, we have dogs and I don't know if you have dogs, we're a dog family.

Joanne Jarrett: We have one dog, so we have singular dog.

Sandra Samoska: Just the one? Oh, I'm so jealous.

Joanne Jarrett: Well I decided I might need to get her a dog and then I dog sat for two weeks for another golden doodle and they didn't do anything together. I was like, "She does not need a dog."

Sandra Samoska: That's smart. You tested it out first. I love that. It's wisdom.

Joanne Jarrett: It was a happy accident. But it worked out for me. So you have multiple dogs. How many and what kinds?

Sandra Samoska: Currently we just have two, which is great. When this particular embarrassing thing happened though, we had three, and before that we had had four. So we're slowly moving down to a more manageable, I feel like, number. Right now we have two, they're called black mouth cur, which is a hunting dog. My husband likes to hunt. Unfortunately, he likes to go hunting without his hunting dogs, which makes me a little bit upset because I feel like that's why he got them in the first place.

Sandra Samoska: About three years ago we had three dogs. We had the two we had now and one older one that my husband had gotten before we got married. And the older one, her name was Rose, she was about 50 pounds, 15 years old, and she kind of had that, I'm queen of my domain and everything I see attitude, she mostly hated everybody except for my husband. She wasn't mean, but she was just kind of like disdainful, you know? We were all just kind of existing in her space.

Joanne Jarrett: Like a cat? Like kind of just, I'm too good for you standoffish?

Sandra Samoska: Yeah, very much. Very much like that. But she was like getting old and she had, you know, was partially deaf and arthritis and her legs would go out from under her and we were just like, "It's okay, Rose. Just hang on." You know? So we had her and then we thought that she needed friends and so we got a second dog and his name is Davey and he's a black mouth cur and he is super sweet but very, very deeply stupid. He's just a very dumb dog. But I mean like super sweet.

Sandra Samoska: Like he loves us but just not smart. And he was kind of afraid of Rose and he would like slink under the table if she looked at him. So they weren't like friends by any means, but that's okay. We loved Davey. And then we got a third dog and her name is Jill. And Jill, even though that she's the same breed as Davey, she's a lot smaller. So she's only 35 pounds. And my husband assured me when we got her, super awesome, important breed and really amazing. And wouldn't it be wonderful if we could breed her one day, which I was not a fan of, but I was like, okay. But Jill felt like she should be the queen of the house. And even though she was kind of usually content to let Rose be the puppet queen, she kind of ruled from the shadows.

Sandra Samoska: So we kind of had this interesting emotional dynamic going on. Now Rose and Davey, the older one and the boy, they were both fixed, because Rose had been a rescue dog and Davey was really too dumb to breed. But Jill was not fixed because my husband and my daughter ganged up on me and they were like, "No, puppies, wouldn't it be wonderful?" And I thought, "No." But okay, so we've kind of let that go. So Jill was not fixed. So Jill goes into heat right? And is like an emotional powder keg. I had no idea this was a thing. But dogs get hormonal too.

Joanne Jarrett: Oh, no, really? Uck! I just thought about their period going everywhere. Does that happen too?

Sandra Samoska: That happened, and someone suggested some kind of doggy pad and I said, "No, I'm drawing the line. I'm not changing a dog pad, the dog must go outside during this time period." It was ridiculous, like ridiculous. But before the bleeding starts is like this PMS period for dogs.

Joanne Jarrett: Right, while they're fertile.

Sandra Samoska: Right.

Joanne Jarrett: Oh, gosh.

Sandra Samoska: And so it made her super cranky, not with people, but she had less tolerance for Rose's shenanigans.

Joanne Jarrett: Oh no.

Sandra Samoska: So one morning I had gotten two of my older children onto the bus and I was starting to kind of get breakfast for the younger two and my husband's getting ready for work and evidently Rose, the older dog, looked sideways at Jill and Jill decided to take offense and like charged in and jumped on Rose and they start wrestling in the living room and everything. And even though Rose is bigger, she's not as strong and so, fur is flying and my husband comes in and breaks them up and sends Jill outside. And so, we're kind of trying to tend to Rose who, I mean she wasn't seriously injured, but it was a little bit shell-shocked. It was crazy. And we sent Davey, Davey, who's like in love with Jill, we sent him outside. We're like, "Okay, y'all go outside, let us take care of the older dog."

Joanne Jarrett: Calm her down, Davey.

Sandra Samoska: Right. Calm her down. Like you need to talk her through this because she's having a moment. And so my husband leaves, he really abandoned me on the field, it's how I feel at that moment. But he goes to work because that's what he does. And I'm kind of taking care of the kids and I look out the back window and I see that Davey apparently has gotten excited by the girl on girl fight and he's trying to mount Jill and he doesn't know what to do because he's very dumb and he's like on her back and on her leg and on her face and I don't even know.

Joanne Jarrett: Oh, my goodness.

Sandra Samoska: And I look out there, and I'm like, "Well, Jill can handle herself. Clearly she knows what she's doing. I'm just going to let that go because I'm not a dating service for dogs. So that is not my job."

Joanne Jarrett: I got other things to do.

Sandra Samoska: Exactly. So I go and I keep kind of caring for the kids. That's what I do. And a little bit later I kind of hear this weird noise coming from the laundry room, which is where we have a doggy door, that goes into our backyard and we can shut the door into the rest of the house so that the dogs can't come in. And so I hear this weird noise coming from the laundry room and I kind of opened the door and Jill is standing really still with like this weird look on her face right inside the doggy door. And I'm like, "What's going on? Are you okay?" And I get closer and I see Davey standing outside the door and they are attached like through the doggy door, Joanne, and they're attached together.

Joanne Jarrett: Oh, no way. How did they even do that?

Sandra Samoska: What? Thank you! Right?

Joanne Jarrett: Yeah. What are the odds? They have to be infinitesimally small.

Sandra Samoska: They're like fused at the inappropriate place, through the doggy door. I was like, "What do I do?" And so, my kids are coming, "Mom, what's happening?" "No, no, stay back. You don't need to see this." And I call my husband and I'm like, "Okay, this seriously, one, this is your fault. Like these dogs are yours. You left me. These are totally your fault. And what do I do with these dogs stuck together? Do I pull them apart? Like I don't want to get in the middle of that."

Joanne Jarrett: That's right. There are so many reasons why that could be a bad idea.

Sandra Samoska: Right? I don't want to break anything. I don't know. So my husband, who is giggling inappropriately, he's like, "I don't know, call our friend." We have a friend that's a vet. And so I said okay. So I hang up with him and I call my friend's cell phone, who's a vet. And she of course doesn't answer because she has a life.

Joanne Jarrett: She's busy being a vet.

Sandra Samoska: She's busy working. And so I said, "Okay. So my sister works for a different vet." And so I called my sister's office thinking, "Okay, well maybe I can get some help over there." And luckily a doctor actually answers, which what are the odds, right? Usually the doctors don't answer the phone.

Joanne Jarrett: Man, that was lucky.

Sandra Samoska: But he answered and I didn't know him. But he's like, "Okay, what can I help you with?" And I said, "Okay, well, so my dogs are kind of stuck together. Their bottoms won't come apart." And I'm thinking, "Please for the love do not make me use the word dog penis in this conversation. Don't."

Joanne Jarrett: Did you feel like you had to reassure him first, "This Is not a prank phone call." I really literally need help with this. I'll send you a picture if you need photographic evidence.

Sandra Samoska: I'm like, "I don't know what to do and I have this problem and they are stuck." And he's like, "Oh, okay. Well, how long have they been stuck together?" I'm like, "I mean, I don't know. Like a few minutes maybe. I don't know." And I'm thinking like my whole life really.

Joanne Jarrett: Less than an hour, more than 30 seconds.

Sandra Samoska: Okay, I've been staring at this atrocity forever now. I don't know how long. And he said, "Okay, well, they should probably separate on their own in a minute or two, but hold on, let me check something." And he kind of, I don't know, Google search, ask a friend. I'm not sure what he does.

Joanne Jarrett: Uh-huh. Whipped out the textbook.

Sandra Samoska: He says, "Well, unfortunately it could take an hour or two. And I'm like, "Okay, what?"

Joanne Jarrett: What? Are you kidding me? Jill is like, "I cannot do this for an hour."

Sandra Samoska: I know, like the look on her face. I just, I was like, "I'm sorry, baby, I don't know what to do for you." So the doctor said, "Well, just leave them alone."

Joanne Jarrett: Did you happen to peek around at Davey? I want to know what Davey looked like. Was he smashed up against the house? Like, I can picture his jowls like smashed up along the wall of the outside of the house.

Sandra Samoska: He'd like twisted his body somehow so that he was still like one leg up, you know, because he was inserted and the rest of him was like sideways.

Joanne Jarrett: Okay. Neither of them are going to be able to walk for a week.

Sandra Samoska: I was like, "You know, that's not comfortable." And I'm not about to shove Jill out the doggy door. I mean, I don't know.

Joanne Jarrett: She's somewhat in the safety zone. You don't want to throw her back out to the wolves.

Sandra Samoska: Right. She's like, "Get me away!'. So the doctor says, "Okay, well, just leave them alone and they'll come apart when they can." Like this is a thing. Like they just like get stuck like this. I'm on the phone, and I said, "Okay, well so it turns out that they're stuck together through the doggy door." Silence. There's silence on the other end of the line and the doctor's like, "So, they're tied together through the doggy door?" I was like, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. So one is on the inside of the door and the other one is on the outside of the door." And I'm pretty sure he put me on mute, because it was like dead air, nothing, nothing.

Joanne Jarrett: I'm crying.

Sandra Samoska: I mean, Joanne, the kids are coming in, "Mom, what's Jill doing?" I'm like, "Stay back, stay back." And I'm listening to this dead air.

Joanne Jarrett: I am not ready to have the birds and the bees conversation with you guys right now.

Sandra Samoska: Right! And the doctor comes back and I kid you not. He says, "Okay, first you need to take a picture. Because, that's hilarious."

Joanne Jarrett: You're like, "Oh yeah, veterinarians are humans too."

Sandra Samoska: Oh my gosh. So then he's like, "There's nothing you can do just that's all. That's all I have for you." And we hang up. And like 20 minutes later my sister calls and she's like, "Oh yeah, the whole office is laughing at you right now. Right this minute. Our whole entire ... the doctor got off the phone with you and was like, 'Let me tell you what's happening.'"

Joanne Jarrett: Productivity has come to a screeching halt while we laugh about what's going on in Sandra's home right now.

Sandra Samoska: It's true! And then they called their sister clinic, where my friend works and I get a phone call from my friend, the vet, saying, "Hey, I heard you had an eventful morning."

Joanne Jarrett: So now the veterinarian's offices are calling each other.

Sandra Samoska: They are. They're just like, "let me tell you about what happened." And they're all, "Did you get a picture?" I'm like, "No, pervert. I did not take a picture."

Joanne Jarrett: You're like, "Must she lose all of her dignity in one day?"

Sandra Samoska: Oh my gosh. I feel like that would be like doggy porn. Like, I don't know. There's probably some kind of watch dog out there for that.

Joanne Jarrett: Apparently that's where you draw the line.

Sandra Samoska: It was fantastic.

Joanne Jarrett: Oh my gosh, I have to blow my nose. I'm a mess over here. Oh, that's so hilarious. So how much longer did it take before they separated?

Sandra Samoska: They got separate really not too much longer, and then she kind of went and took a nap and I'm pretty sure Davey went and found a beer. I'm pretty sure he had to go find a beer.

Joanne Jarrett: And a cigarette. Oh my gosh.

Sandra Samoska: Amazing.

Joanne Jarrett: Wow. That is awesome and hilarious. I love, I love that the veterinarian's offices were calling each other like, "You guys will never believe this. This will surely make your day."

Sandra Samoska: Right?

Joanne Jarrett: So there's some kind of anatomy issue where there's a ... thank God that doesn't happen to humans where there's a ... what the heck? I mean, I'm a physician, so I'm like, I thought I was pretty up on anatomy. Although I did have to look up dog anatomy when I wasn't sure if my dog had a vaginal infection or a bladder infection and it turns out they pee through their vagina. Did you know that? I'm like, what?

Sandra Samoska: I did not.

Joanne Jarrett: Well, I mean, I Googled it, so I could be wrong. If you're a veterinarian out there, and I'm wrong, email me. But I was like, that seems like an odd design. I mean, I guess I understand why they would... Getting stuck together ensures a more effective transfer of genetic material. You know?

Sandra Samoska: Seems like an odd design to me, but I'm not in charge.

Joanne Jarrett: Yeah, we're not in charge. Thank goodness. I don't want to be in charge. Especially of stuff like that. Oh, that's so amazing. I love it so much. Poor Jill.

Sandra Samoska: Poor Jill, poor me.

Joanne Jarrett: So how was their relationship after that? I'm wondering, you said Jill was pretty smart, so she probably knew it was Davey back there.

Sandra Samoska: Yeah, they're fine. We got her fixed shortly thereafter, because I said, "I'm going to have to draw a line here. This cannot happen again."

Joanne Jarrett: We can't keep getting these two clowns stuck together.

Sandra Samoska: This is not what I signed up for when I decided to stay home with my children. This was not in the job description. I'm done with this.

Joanne Jarrett: Yeah.

Sandra Samoska: So now they coexist very peacefully.

Joanne Jarrett: I wonder if Jill have nightmares about it. Davey's like, "Why do I love looking at the back of the house so much? What is going on with my brain?"

Sandra Samoska: Well, now she'll sit in the laundry room with her head out the doggy door and block Davey from coming inside because he still slightly scared of her. She sticks her head out and is like, "No."

Joanne Jarrett: She is a smart dog. She's like, "I am not going to be caught unawares with my bottom anywhere near that doggy door ever again. In fact, you have to give me the password before I let you in here."

Sandra Samoska: Oh gosh.

Joanne Jarrett: That is great. I love it. Oh gosh. Yeah. So many things. So many things in parenthood and domestic life are like, I could say I look at my husband probably every week and go, "This is not something I signed up for." I really, the things that happen, but I think that one takes the cake. So now, every time I think I didn't sign up for this, I'll just think about you trying to figure out what to do with your poor dogs through the wall of the house.

Sandra Samoska: At least I'm not having to explain to my children about the dogs and their reproductive system.

Joanne Jarrett: Okay. So now that we're talking about reproductive systems, you have another sort of reproductive system related story regarding Sunday school teachers. Can you tell me about that?

Sandra Samoska: Oh my gosh. Okay. So we go to this church and we love it there. My husband's gone there since he was a child and my in-laws go there. And so it's wonderful. We love it. But when my oldest daughter, when she was, I'm guessing maybe two or so, we had her in Sunday school, so she would go to Sunday school while we were in service. And one day I went to go pick her up from Sunday school and the teacher, she's like, "I need to talk to you." I said, "Okay." And so she kind of steps out of the classroom away from all the other children-

Joanne Jarrett: Don't you hate hearing that? It's like, "Oh no."

Sandra Samoska: Worst nightmare, right. You know something horrible happened. And she said, "So your daughter was talking about this show she watches with the crack brothers and she said they had power dicks." Wait, what? The what? And she said, "You know the crack brothers with power dicks?" No, no, no, no, no. And she said, "Oh yes, that's what she said." And the little boy next to her, when the teacher tried to say, "Oh no, I'm sure that's not what they're called." The little boy next to her said, "Oh yeah, dicks, you know dicks." So she's looking at me and like what are you showing your children, you crazy woman? And I was like, "No, it's on PBS. It's educational." And she's like, "What?" "No, no. So do you know the Kratt brothers, the Wild Kratts, it's a show about animals and kids and they have power discs, discs." And she's just looking at me. It's on PBS. I promise.

Joanne Jarrett: That reminds me of one time I took my oldest daughter was, I think she was right around two years old, because my youngest daughter was still in a baby bucket and they're 22 months apart. I took her to the story time at the library and the librarian was reading this about a duck and she said, "Can any of you children think of a word that rhymes with duck?" And so my total extrovert, verbal, engaged two year old yells the F word out at the top of her lungs. And I'm like, it's crickets, total silence. The librarian looks at me like, "Oh my mistake." And then she just kept on reading and I was like, "Okay, how do I play this?" Because, my daughter does not hear that word at home, but probably some people in there are thinking, "Well, of course she hears that word at home." I was like, "No, she's just a really smart little girl and she picked a consonant out of the air, right?"

Sandra Samoska: A consonant, yes, oh my God.

Joanne Jarrett: I was like, "If I gather my kids up and run out of here, then they're going to really think that we are doing some crazy shenanigans at home. So I'm just going to sit here and try to recover my dignity." But I never went back to story time again. That was it, first and last time.

Sandra Samoska: I mean, no, you're labeled, they put your picture on the wall.

Joanne Jarrett: I like those don't accept a check from this woman. Do not allow this woman or her child to come to story time. Oh Lord have mercy. This is my 20th podcast interview I think. And you're the first person who's ever made me cry.

Sandra Samoska: I'm so glad to hear it.

Joanne Jarrett: My nose is just like dripping. And one of the reasons why I love to tell embarrassing stories to other people is because when people tell me their embarrassing stories, then it's like I keep it as a gem in the back of my head and it'll come back to me at random times and I'll just start laughing out loud and my kids know this about me. So they're like, "Which one are you laughing about now, Mom?" Jill and Davey are forever going to live in the little funny story area of my brain to be surfaced at random times throughout the rest of my life.

Sandra Samoska: I'm so glad to hear it.

Joanne Jarrett: Yeah. So you've given me a great gift.

Joanne Jarrett: Okay well now that I've recovered my composure somewhat and I'm breathing normally again, what have you been loving lately that you think the listeners would love too?

Sandra Samoska: My very favorite thing that I own right now, this is a silly thing, it's not really serious, but my husband bought me a T-shirt and it says, "I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't want to come." And he bought it for me because I'm slightly introverted. And for the most part, I prefer to be at my home. I have to go places all the time because I'm one of those people that volunteer for a lot of things and just I'm always going and doing things. And so it's coming so handy because I wear it all the time.

Joanne Jarrett: Yeah. Well I think you and I are the same person. Like I am the sociable introvert that can't say no. They'll make an announcement at church. "Oh, we're looking for Awana's leaders." And my husband's like gripping my hand so tight. Like, "Don't you dare, you just keep your mouth shut." You know? Because if I volunteer for something then I'll be like, "I'm all out of words. I can't do this today. What is wrong with me? Why did I volunteer?"

Sandra Samoska: Yes. And it's exhausting. And you finally get home and you just lay on the couch in your pajamas. Don't talk to me.

Joanne Jarrett: Exactly. Like I know I look like I'm here, but I'm not here. I'm alone in my head and I can't come out right now. You have four kids. So that's a lot for an introvert. And I'm an extreme introvert, but I'm very sociable, so I don't mean to be deceptive, but people don't realize that I'm an introvert until I explain what I've got going on. I guess it's complicated. But anyway, sounds like maybe that's what you're like too. And I have one extremely extroverted child who needs a lot of face to face engagement.

Joanne Jarrett: And I finally had to start saying like, "What's more important? I need to give my daughter what she needs." And my husband's pretty much like that too. And I need to give my husband what he needs so I have to cut way back on all of these people pleasing things that I'm doing that aren't as significant to the lives and souls of my loved ones. You know? Have you kind of experienced that too with four kids in your house?

Sandra Samoska: Yes, I can totally relate to that. And I think as they're getting older, some of it is getting a easier because more of them are in school. And so I have these pockets of time where I literally schedule alone time. No.

Joanne Jarrett: So smart.

Sandra Samoska: So that I can like recharge and I try really hard not to put tasks in there. I don't know if you're like this, but I'm kind of a doer, I like to check things off my list, [inaudible 00:25:26] done.

Joanne Jarrett: Heck yeah.

Sandra Samoska: But you only have so much time.

Joanne Jarrett: That's the reason why I'm late everywhere I go because I'm also an optimist. So I'm like, "Oh, I have to leave in five minutes, let me unload the dishwasher and forward the laundry." And then I'm late. And I'm like, "Oh." I did not mean to be disrespectful of whoever's waiting for me. But I just feel like I always have to be doing two or three things all at once.

Sandra Samoska: Yes, I'm the same way. And so I had to start scheduling alone time so that I could fulfill my obligations that I'd already committed to, but not be completely shut off from the kids. Because I, just like you, I have a daughter who, she is very, she needs to be all up in your business all the time. You know? She likes affection and she likes to be with you. And if I'm sitting on the couch, she's sitting on me. So if I'm going to be able to like, like you said, be emotionally available to her then I really have to kind of schedule my quiet time so to speak.

Joanne Jarrett: Yeah. Your recharge. Yeah. I feel like right now, in this stage of life, the inside of my car is my favorite place because it's like my sensory deprivation chamber. Obviously when I'm in there by myself, not when I'm in there with my kids, but we're to this stage now where I have to take my kids places that then I don't have to be in there with them. So I'll go to the library or I'll just stay in my car and have my "office hours" where I'm doing whatever I feel like I need to be doing. But I'm getting quiet inside my own head and I can totally control the atmosphere and that has ... it's so important. It's so, so, so important. Do you have any crazy coincidences that you could share with us?

Sandra Samoska: Sure. Yeah. So this happened fairly recently, I was trying to put together a book proposal. So I'm trying to write a book.

Joanne Jarrett: Good for you.

Sandra Samoska: And I was kind of doing some research online and what I was coming across was suggesting going to writing conferences so that you can meet with other people who are involved in your craft and develop it-

Joanne Jarrett: Yeah. Network.

Sandra Samoska: Right. Exactly. And so I thought, "Okay, well we live here in Houston and obviously I'm a stay at home mom so we have one income so I'm not going to be able to fly all over the place and spend tons of money on the conferences." And so I do this Google search, because that's where you go when you have questions. Right?

Joanne Jarrett: Heck yeah.

Sandra Samoska: I Google Christian writing conferences near me. Right. And nothing comes up and I'm like, "Okay well, maybe now is not the time, I'll just have to do it another time." So I was kind of discouraged. I get in my car because it was time for me to leave to go pick up my son and I'm in the car. And it was funny because I was, you know, when I'm in the car, that's kind of my quiet time. And I was praying and I was talking to God and I was like, "You know, God, I get discouraged sometimes and I think that I need to be doing this, but I don't know how to do this. And sometimes I think I just need you to kick me in the pants. You know, God. So I just really need you to kick me in pants because I think I need you to kind of propel me a little bit."

Sandra Samoska: And I have a thought, and I'm not saying that God was talking to me at that time because I did not hear a voice or anything, but I just had this thought, you know, you need to call Cindy. Cindy is a friend of mine from church who is very like, tell it like it is and she'll kick you in the pants if you need it. And I was like, "That's a good thought. Maybe I'll deal with that tomorrow." So, I went and picked up my kid and finished the day. And then the next morning I was sitting on the couch and I'm scrolling through Facebook and I see this ad for a Christian writers conference in Houston at the end of the summer. And this was like in the spring or something.

Sandra Samoska: And I was like, "What?" Because sometimes I feel like God uses Google and Facebook and like has them talk to each other.

Joanne Jarrett: Heck yeah.

Sandra Samoska: And then like send me messages through those.

Joanne Jarrett: Okay, why didn't this come up? And now all of a sudden it's popping up on my Facebook feed. This is like a personal gift for me.

Sandra Samoska: Yes, super, slightly creepy, but amazing. And so I was like. So I thought about that a little bit and then I saw that Beth Moore was going to be there, which-

Joanne Jarrett: Slam dunk. Got to go.

Sandra Samoska: Right. I love her. And so I kind of verified it through Beth Moore's Twitter because that's where you go for your real news, to make sure it was legit.

Joanne Jarrett: If you can't figure it from Facebook, then you have to cross reference with Twitter. Clearly.

Sandra Samoska: That's right. That's how I get my information.

Joanne Jarrett: Oh, I can tell my husband I'm not the only one, he's like, "Where'd you hear that, Facebook?" And I'm like, "Yeah."

Sandra Samoska: So it must be true. I verified it with Twitter and Google. And so then I call my mother because she's my sounding board a lot. And so I'm kind of telling my mom about this crazy, creepy coincidence that had happened. And she's like, "Well, maybe you should really think about signing up for this conference." And I was like, "Well, maybe." ... And then I get a beep on my phone and I look at my phone and it's my friend Cindy just calling me out of the blue.

Joanne Jarrett: No way.

Sandra Samoska: Yes.

Joanne Jarrett: What?

Sandra Samoska: And I look at my phone-

Joanne Jarrett: I was like, well maybe you should call Cindy after you hang up with your mom. No, she's calling you.

Sandra Samoska: She's calling me and we don't talk a lot. We're not phone friends, you know. And so I look at it and I get back on the phone with my mom. I was like, "Mom, I got to go, God is calling me." She's like, "Well, I guess you better answer."

Joanne Jarrett: That's awesome. So what did Cindy say?

Sandra Samoska: Well, she was just calling because I had had a story published in a book and so she had seen that that had happened and so she wanted to just call out of the blue and congratulate me because she'd seen it and I said, "Well, I'm so glad you called. Let me tell you what's going on in my life right now." And kind of explained kind of what was going on in my conversation we've got about needing a kick in the pants and she's like, "Well, I don't know how I feel about the fact that you think I would kick you in the pants. If that's what you've been like, then sure." So I went to the conference.

Joanne Jarrett: You did go to the conference. Okay. Awesome. Well you'll have to let me know when you have more information about your book. That is so exciting. I'm sure all my listeners will want to follow along with you. What is the best piece of advice you've ever been given?

Sandra Samoska: The best piece of advice that I have been given actually came from my mother and she used to always say and still says it. It's the little things in life. So it's really about how it's not the big things or the super exciting moments that really make up your life. It's the little things, they kind of go in day by day. Those small little pieces of happiness or joy and those are the things that you need to cling on to and be grateful for instead of constantly waiting for the next awesome thing.

Joanne Jarrett: I love it. That's such a good thing to remember and this is why one of those things you can do is keep these funny story nuggets in the back of your head and then when you feel like nothing interesting is happening, they can just roll into your mind and make you laugh out loud. One time I went to a party and my girlfriend invited all her friends from different walks of life and so it was one of those gift exchange parties. And when our number came up we had to tell our most embarrassing moment and then get our gift. And there are so many nuggets from that party. The interesting thing about that is these were women that I knew superficially and from a distance, most of them. And I left that party feeling like I knew them so much better.

Joanne Jarrett: We laughed together. We kind of showed our underbellies. You know this one girl told a story about how she was in Home Depot in the morning and she had her toddler with her and she had just thrown some clothes on when she got up and she had loose soccer shorts on and she's shaped like a ballet dancer. She put her son down to pay for her item and her son was kind of trying to crawl up her leg to be picked back up and he ended up pulling her shorts down all the way to the floor and she was commando under there. So she had to bend all the way down to the floor to pick her shorts up and pull them up and then she's like, "Maybe nobody saw."

Joanne Jarrett: So she looked behind her and there was a Home Depot employee standing right behind her and I'm like, "I am so sorry that that happened to you, but I am going to laugh about that off and on and as long as my brain works." I just said, "Thank you for that nugget." But anyway, I'm also kind of excited that you mentioned the whole conference thing because I have been trying to figure out a podcasting conference to go to, but I'm like you, we're one income. I live kind of in the middle of nowhere, unlike you and so I need a podcast conference that's in Spokane or Seattle. So if you're listening Facebook, Google, God, anyone.

Joanne Jarrett: How can our listeners follow along with you and get more Sandra and make sure they know what's going on with you as these developments come along?

Sandra Samoska: Well, I have a website where I have my blog, then that's SandraSamoska.com and then I'm most active on Facebook. My page is Outnumbered and that's kind of where I share a lot of blog posts but also just kind of like funny things that are going on in my life or things that I've noticed about life or crazy ways that God is working. It's more fun. And then I also have Twitter and Instagram, which I'm a little bit less active on because Instagram intimidates me because there's lots like pictures. But I'm getting there.

Joanne Jarrett: Awesome. I will link to your Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and your website in the show notes. So you guys, if you want to just figure out where to click to find more Sandra, if you're on an iPhone, go down to episode webpage and click on that and then it'll bring up all the links. And I'm sure it's similar on other things, but that's the only thing I know how to do it on. Thank you so much for being on the show with me today. It was super fun to talk to you.

Sandra Samoska: I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much for inviting me.

Joanne Jarrett: Well, that was a lot of fun. Thank you so much for joining us today on the Fancy Free Podcast. I hope you got some good belly laughs like we did and I hope you feel less alone in your imperfections. Make sure you return next week, I have Esther Goetz as my guest and she is going to tell us some really funny stories about parenting teenagers. Remember to subscribe to the show if you're having fun with it. If you have a story to tell, please email me at notfancy@fancyfreepodcast.com I'd love to have you on the show. I promise it's not scary at all. Also, request to join the Fancy Free Facebook group. We're having a lot of fun in that group. Every week we have a different question of the week and this week, the question of the week is, what is the funniest thing your pet has ever done? Have a wonderful week and until next week, remember, no one is as fancy as they look.